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My brain is buzzing and I hope I can type enough in 15 minutes... [Jul. 1st, 2008|07:45 am]
Jade
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Let's see how much I can churn out before I have to go to work...



Monday
Yesterday, I went to Disneyland with my sister and her friend/coworker. We wanted to go early to ride the new Toy Story Mania ride at California Adventure as well as hit rides fast, which in general was pretty easy to do at 8 o'clock in the morning. My sister and her friend invited one of their fellow friend/coworkers as well but we didn't meet up with her until about 11am, and we hung out together until about 3:30pm when I met Tim.

The main reason for me requesting the day off and inviting my sister and her friends along was because Tim had asked me to be his date to Disneyland about a month ago. He would be there for work (his store reached 100% of its goals and all stores that accomplished that were treated to an afternoon/evening at Disneyland). I met up with him then, introduced him briefly to my friends -although I didn't say that my sister was my sister- and then went off with him.

His parents (dad and stepmom) wanted to meet me, and so we met around 5:30pm and had dinner at the House of Blues, and later separated to go on our way - riding several rides and walking around. Tim was quiet for the majority of the date, and if he's anything like me, it was because he was thinking about things (although he told me it was because the weather was hot and I teased him that that would be the way to keep him quiet was to make sure it was hot).

We talked a lot about various things, the major thing was our relationship - which is definitely more than just "friendship". We're dating, yes, and I'm pretty sure we're boyfriend/girlfriend although I'm not sure if there was ever an official designation of that (I suppose I could ask him if we are), and he asked me why I wanted him. I told him that I like spending time with him, that I think he has potential and ambition, and that perhaps I am just naively optimistic but that I believe in him too. He wondered if I was really ready for a relationship because he felt there is a difference between moving and progressing slow than being stuck on a page; and I told him that it felt like he was ready to dive head first while I was treading water. He doesn't want to waste time basically and he wants to know if we're heading in the same direction; that is, he wanted to know if what he wants (a long lasting relationship that will eventually end in marriage) is what I wanted. Not that ours would necessarily end there but that if I'm just dating to date, he's already been there / done that and isn't interested in just "dating".

I told him that since my break-up that I hadn't been thinking about relationships in that sense, that I would be perfectly happy being single or at least that was what I was gearing my life to; for me, I would like to find "the one" or at least have a significant other, but it wasn't a goal or ambition necessarily. To him though, he doesn't want to be alone; he wants to find "that person" and I could be that person. He said that of course, we would always be reevaluating our relationship as it goes and he understands that it is all "new" to me but as long as we have the same goals, he would continue to pursue me.

I told him that I thought about the future -like what would it be like if we were married (and he wasn't scared about that)- and about children (maximum two, although we are both fine with having none at all as well) and about sex in the relationship. He feels sex is important, although I don't really since I've never had sex so it's not weighing heavily in my mind, and about protection and so forth.

Later, he said he thinks he's falling for me and I told him that I think I am falling for him too. And it's scary. And he agreed.

And now my brain is buzzing because of all we talked about... and now I have to leave and will try to edit in more later but... *dies*
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ladybluestar
2008-07-01 04:17 pm (UTC)
Yes, sex is very important in a marital relationship. But that's neither here nor there at this point.

I think it's good that you had time to have fun and also had some good conversations with him as to how and where things are going.
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[User Picture]From: jadeites_lady
2008-07-01 08:35 pm (UTC)
Oh! No, I meant that he says sex is important in a girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship, not just marriage. I'm sorry I didn't specify since my brain is still buzzing from everything and trying to sort everything out.
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[User Picture]From: ladybluestar
2008-07-01 08:36 pm (UTC)
Ah, well, that's a completely different matter. I'm glad that you clarified that.
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[User Picture]From: jadeites_lady
2008-07-01 08:41 pm (UTC)
I've been raised or at least in the beginning taught to save myself for marriage. But as I grew older and went through my past (ex)relationships, it didn't matter as much as it used to. I mean, I can see myself waiting or if I'm comfortable/secure enough and I love him (not Tim specifically but a man in general) that I might not wait. But since we talked about it, he's not waiting for marriage, although I don't think he would "push" me into doing anything I wasn't ready for... if that makes sense. I guess if I was adamant about NOT having sex before marriage, we might argue or decide to end things since our beliefs are different, but since I'm wavering and it's not something I have a firm stance in, it's just all overwhelming at this point in time.
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[User Picture]From: registration
2008-07-02 12:06 am (UTC)
umm, in my experience, and in the experience of my friends, i think that sex is very important- in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and in a marriage (duh, haha). for me, it's just another way of showing how much you care for/love the person you're with. it's the ultimate sign of bonding, at least for me, you know? but i think i can safely say that you take sex very seriously, and that's were we're very different hahaha. for me, it's about having fun, but when you're with someone you really care about, it's also about feeling an amazing, great connection.
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[User Picture]From: jadeites_lady
2008-07-02 03:48 am (UTC)
hahaha, yes. But I guess we'll see what the future holds. I'm not excluding the possibility, but I'm really scared about it too.
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[User Picture]From: registration
2008-07-02 09:11 am (UTC)
i understand that. i've gotten very scared and nervous before having sex with someone i really like. but being scared kinda just makes it better, too. :)
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