I have been accepted into H_E. I should be happy. I should be jumping up and down for joy. But I'm not... and it's all due to those negative personality traits of mine (specifically, being TOO damn sensitive). I didn't care about the squib votes, and I was pretty much "over" that specific squib comment - honestly, I was - but then people had to comment to his comment, which then he commented back, and all those comments came to my email and I was forced to read and thus relive all the emo (anger/defensiveness)...
So... does anyone have any advice on how to be NOT sensitive? You always hear about the sensitivity classes at work -- well, what if you're too sensitive (like me) - is there a way not to be? Can I just be insensitive?
And it bothers me - I mean, my negative trait bothers me. I know I should not be letting this bother me, but it just triggers those emotions. Oh- and I never said it only took me 3 years to get my doctorate. It took me 4 years - I just happened to graduate 2 weeks BEFORE my 22nd birthday (as that school year was mid-August to mid-May instead of early-September to June). Why do I feel the need to defend myself? UGH! The comment just makes me want to... 1st instinct - punch him in the nose, 2nd instinct - question myself (why the hell did I put myself through the app process?), 3rd instinct - quit while I'm ahead (heck, I made it this far; people all suck; go back and be a hermit), 4th instinct - he's a STRANGER, I don't even KNOW him, he should NOT be affecting me this way -- i.e. GET OVER IT!
So, as I keep telling myself to "GET OVER IT!", I am using this journal entry to vent/rant. I'm actually a happy person! Really I am! :) Just take a look at my hogwartsharmony application:
Sure, it's shorter than the H_E one, and doesn't dive into my soul or my values, but it does have more of my personality in it (I particularly like my joke about my choice of quidditch position). Probably because I wasn't stressed about filling out this app as I had stressed about H_E's app. And since I decided to join HH, I don't think I will be joining fourhouseunion yet. Maybe in the future... but as of now, I'm still trying to relax and see how I fit into H_E's Hufflepuffs.
Maybe later tonight - ten hours or so from now - I will be back to my happy, perky self, and I'll be able to fill out the welcome/noob form for the H_E's Hufflepuff common room.
p.s. if you actually read this and are one of those people who comment to his comments back and forth, would you please talk to him via email instead of through comments? That way I wouldn't have to read both of your responses. Or else I'll have to set my lj user preferences to NOT email me. I don't hate any of you for responding to his comments; it's just I wish I didn't have to READ it.