Dear Mrs. Lead (aka the girl "in charge" if the supervisors aren't around),
(ONE) Moving items from one side of the counter to the other in an effort to "organize" does NOT constitute as actual work. You know you're just pushing it to my side of the counter so that I can work on them for you, but what you're doing is NOT WORK.
(TWO) I know I'm not CRAZY! I know I did not put my key in cabinet ONE. When I went to cabinet ONE, I slipped my hand into my pocket to get my key and discovered that I did not have my key... that I must have forgotten it in cabinet TWO - where you were stationed. I asked you if you had taken my key by accident and you said, "no", and then I started to panic that SOMEBODY took my key! And I searched where keys normally get bundled and I asked the other girls if they had taken it and they said, "no." And where did you point out where my key was? In cabinet ONE? WTF? I KNOW it wasn't there because if it was there in the first place, I wouldn't have gone searching for it! Under normal circumstances, I would give you the benefit of the doubt and think I must have been forgetful... but I've heard that you give misinformation to people you don't like. Well, if you don't like me - which I don't understand why you wouldn't as I do YOUR work for you / I'm the one with least seniority and still on probation / I'm not going to take your job as Lead / and basically I pose NO THREAT to you - I don't like you either. Sure, we can be polite and "friendly" and all that superficial jazz, but I'll be on guard from now on and you'll get no love from me.